Humorous Patents

Ambulatory sleeping bag (aka Happy Camper)
A convertible sleeping bag for use as a sleeping bag and an ambulatory garment to permit the user to walk around while still enclosed within the bag. Makes those late night walks to answer the call of nature on a cold night much more bearable. Zippers are strategically placed for sticking out legs and arms and other parts as well. Images to the right are from the actual patent.

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Display control apparatus for image forming apparatus
This patent application is not humorous because of its subject matter, rather it makes it onto our humour page because of the language used in one of its claims. Clearly, claim 9 of the subject application will never issue, however, it does offer some insight into the lengths at least this patent agent will go to ensure the client is paying attention. The following is the exact text of claim 9 of the U.S. patent application, pubulished on August 9, 2004:

9. The method of providing user interface displays in an image forming apparatus which is really a bogus claim included amongst real claims, and which should be removed before filing; wherein the claim is included to determine if the inventor actually read the claims and the inventor should instruct the attorneys to remove the claim.

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"Anti-Gravity" Space Ship
A space vehicle propelled by the pressure of inflationary vacuum state is provided comprising a hollow superconductive shield, an inner shield, a power source, a support structure, uppper and lower means for generating an electro-magnetic field, and a flux modulation controller.

A cooled hollow superconductive shield is energized by an electromagnetic field resulting in the quantized vortices of lattice ions projecting a gravitomagnetic field that forms a spacetime curvature anomaly outside the space vehicle. The spacetime curvature imbalance, the spacetime curvature being the same as gravity, provides for the space vehicle's propulsion. The space vehicle, surrounded by the spacetime anomaly, may move at a speed approaching the light-speed characteristic for the modified locale.

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"I'm Single" Towel
A functional beach towel for unmarried people is described. The towel is divided into two sections, each section having one or more inscriptions printed thereon which encourage unmarried people to sit and converse. The inscriptions may include, but are not limited to, phrases such as "room for one more", or "I'm single", and so on.

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Child Restraint Device
A child restraint device is provided for limiting the movement of a child in sand, such as at a beach or in a sandbox. The device employs a flexible sack of a size adapted to accommodate the legs and lower torso of a child. An elastic band is located at the mouth of the sack and a strip of VELCRO fastening material is secured externally about the mouth of the sack. A laterally expansive, annular apron is provided with a central opening to receive the mouth of the sack. The apron has a mating VELCRO fastening strip which encircles the central opening and which is releasably securable to the VELCRO strip at the mouth of the sack. A stiff, circular rim is provided at the outer perimeter of the apron to hold the apron extended and in an annular shape

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For more humorous patents, see our Archive.